President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo Quotable Quotes

"For too long there have been two Philippines - the one that represents what is positive about our nation and the one that doesn't. The one that rewards hard work and entrepreneurial spirit, and the one that doesn't allow for social mobility or economic opportunity. The one where justice is a reality and one where justice is a dream,''
President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

Parehang May Tupak!

U wont beliv wat things people do these days... i was sitting nxt 2 dis girl in church & in the middle of the mass she light a cigaret! na-shock ako!!!!... i almost drop my redhorse!!!!

Ano sa Palagay Mo!

BINATA: mis, pede bang manligaw sayo?
DALAGA: at bakit?! may CRV ka ba? BMW? PAJERO?> EXPEDITION?
BINATA: tangina!!! bakit?! ano ba yang PEKPE! K mo!!!? PARKING LOT

downy

GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. if u find me, papayag akong makipag-sex sayo...
BOY: e kung di kita makita?
GIRL: nasa likod lng ako ng piano...
GIRL: ang puti naman ng bird mo...
BOY: aba syempre ah!!! likas papaya ata gamit ko> jan!!!
GIRL: ginagamitan mo rin ba ng downy?
BOY: baket? bango ba?
GIRL: lambot e!!!

Liit

Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..
Wife: (taas ang kilay) e baket ikaw nakabrief?!!

Jingoy at Erap

Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may 'side-effect' ang viagra?
Erap: tanga! sa harap effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!

Sulat

Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang sarili ko...
Doc: e ano naman laman ng sulat mo?
Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...

Arab interview at US immigration:

Arab interview at US immigration:
Q: ur name pls..
A: abdul aziz
Q: sex?
A: twice a wik..
Q: i mean male or female?
A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel..

Whisper

News advisory:
AT LAST!!!... a new generation napkin has been made 2 "satisfy women"!!! introducing....NEW WHISPER WITH TONGUE!!!!........keeps u wet..even when ur dry..

Ipot!

Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! tanga!!!> bobo!!!

Medical Check-up!

Sexy: Doc!! mainit pwet ko!
Doc: lagyan natin ng thermometer
Sexy: hiya ako e.
Doc: cge, off ko ilaw...

(in-off ilaw)

Sexy: Doc!!! hindi po pwet yan ha!!!
Doc: cge lang!!! di rin ito thermometer!!!!

My mens daw!

Anak: nay!!! my mens na ko!
Nay: ano kulay...aber?
Anak: dark brown nay!! ;
Nay: lintik na bata to!!!! LBM yan!!!> hala..maghugas ka na ng pwet! ...ambisyosong BAKLA to!!!